Picking Up the Pieces

I guess one the greatest tasks in life is to learn how to recover after a traumatic event that may have left you broken and completely distraught.  I mean, let's face it, we've all been there.  The divorce that you prepared for or didn't see coming, the sickness that struck your family from out of nowhere, the car accident that left someone paralyzed, or even the betrayal from whom you thought was your best friend.  We've all been struck with many blows in life and at some point, it leaves you broken, and maybe even completely shattered.  It leaves you traumatized in ways that you probably can't even speak about.  It leaves you hopeless, confused, and with an inability to know how to even begin to pick up the pieces of your life. 

I've learned that many times, it's hard to even come to the realization that you're broken.  Let that sink in.  One thing you have to tell yourself is that "it is ok to not be ok".  Dear Heart, it's ok to need time to get your life back on track.  I think this is the hardest part for me when counseling others.  We feel as if it's an inconvenience to need time to heal from traumatic events in life.  When you're sick with a cold, you need time to heal.  When you've had surgery, you need time to heal.  When you heart has been broken and your complete world has been shattered, you need time to heal.  Right now, I don't want to focus on anything but helping you to acknowledge the pieces on the floor and give you the support and tools you need to pick them up and start the process of putting your life back together!  Let's begin!

1.  You have to acknowledge where you are.  If you're traveling and you get lost.  One of the most important elements of getting back on track is finding out where you are so that you can map from there to where you're going.  It's the same way with life.  In order to get back on track with where you are attempting to go, you have to first be very clear about where you are.  Are you afraid, are you hurt, are you in fear, are you complacent?  Where are you?  This, Dear Heart, is for you!  This step is necessary for you to build your journey.  The journey of picking up pieces means that we have to be honest and acknowledge where our pieces lie.  Are you pieces in a dead end relationship that you've given most of your life to?  Are you pieces in a career or on a job with superiors that don't know and are not willing to invest in your worth?  Are your pieces stuck in childhood trauma events of abuse and neglect?  Yes, Dear Heart, acknowledging where you are is not a geographic measure by far, it is an emotional, spiritual, and mental account of where you are within your life.  Where are you? 
Life is calling for you to be one place but are you there? 
If not, you have to be able to say and own WHERE YOU ARE!

2.  Where are you going?  One of the most critical elements of restoration and rebuilding is that you are re-establishing something to its former or even greater glory.  That means that in order to get it there, you have to have a plan in place.  Every house started with a building plan, a layout.  Every landscaped yard started with a plan, a layout.  Dear Heart, in order for you to pick up these pieces, you've got to know where you are going.  Knowing and owning where you are going helps you to understand that these broken pieces are mere reflections of who you once were and sometimes the ugly visions that you've endured in life have to be broken so that you can build again with a new vision.  Many times people attempt to change their lives and end up re-creating the same type of life that they had before, they just change locations, partners, and faces.  In other words, they left the trauma with Bill to only relocate and start trauma again with Mike.  They left the abuse with Veronica to only go and start it again with Becky.  True change and transformation isn't about your physical moves, no that's the manifestation.  True change happens from the inside out.  True change happens when you make up your mind that things will be different and you have enough courage to recognize the mind pattern that got you there and the mind pattern that's necessary to get you out of there and into a greater place.  WHERE ARE YOU GOING?  It's hard to drive a car forward while looking backwards.  It's difficult to move forward in your while rehearsing and licking the wounds of your past.  Get up and get going!  Position your mind and posture your heart.  It's time to get going in the right direction.  No more sad songs, no more pity parties, no more "woe is me", and no more crying spells.  It's time to make a declaration, life awaits!

3.  OWN IT!  Wherever you are, wherever you've been, and wherever you're attempting to go, OWN IT!  The greatest of who you will become will always include the worst of where you've been.  So, own it.  It's yours.  Even the muddiest roads serve a purpose and lead you somewhere and so does your life.  No matter how much has happened, it's all good!  In some way or form, it made you better and it worked out for good within your life.  So, don't be ashamed of the set backs, it's ok!  Don't be sad and stuck on the sidelines of life simply because things didn't work the way you wanted them to.. they worked the way they were supposed to.  No, you have to know and believe that your life isn't over just because that season is.  Your life is way more important than just one span of time that you LIVED THROUGH!  Get up from your floor of despair and own your life!  If you're reading this, you are still breathing!  If you are still breathing, you still have a chance!  If you still have a chance, then you don't have time to waste! Get up and own life!  Get up and own your second chance!  Get up and be amazingly great without apology.  Take advantage of the fact that yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised, but today, this very day is your precious gift to do something amazing that will change your life and the life of your peers.

Imagine what they will see when you decide to live again?  Imagine how encouraged they will be after seeing you get your happy, your peace, and your life back?  So many people are shattered and you've been blessed to spend this moment with me.  Whether you're at home, at work, out and about, I want you to know that it took me a long time to get all of my pieces because I actually didn't know where some of them where.  I'd submitted to so many acts of trauma to the point where trauma became normal and it was like prying candy from a baby's hand to get me to finally release my "expectation" of trauma from my life.  Guess what?  I did it and I'm free.  That's why I'm telling you, it's time, Dear Heart!  No more excuses and nothing holding you back.  Let's get started.  You may have to go far and wide to pick up these pieces.  You may have to go back a lot of years and through a lot of different relationships but OWN THE JOURNEY and get those pieces.  Life is calling and waiting.  It's time to get restored and put back together again!

Much Love, Dee!