Learning How to Let Go....

Recently, I had the plump-pleasing pleasure of revisiting a season in my life that I thought I was over. I found myself thinking about a situation and how it had crippled me for so long and didn't even imagine that I would ever get to see the person again! Well, guess what??? I did!

I was so nervous! I hadn't seen him in two years and I was somewhat afraid...not of him, but of myself! I'd just confessed to a great friend of mine that I couldn't say honestly that when I saw him whether I would be able to embrace him genuinely or react out of pure anger! She was so supportive and told me in love that there was still some residue in my heart that needed to be dealt with. Residue??? Are you kidding me??? It's been two years and we haven't talked neither have we seen one another and you mean I'm the one with the issue???? (Shut da doe!)

Welt, (stolen from Antoine Dodson) the more we talked about it, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and then came my confession! She was absolutely right! I was still holding this pain and what he did to me hostage and was unable to move on with my life! Here he was gone on and I was still emotionally stuck in the past of what happened before and crippled with no vision of moving forward! So, needless to say, I was adamant that this had to be corrected because I wanted to be free of this emotional baggage and I wanted to release him from my heart and mind!

Well, I got the chance to see him! Without going into all of the crazy details... let me just say that when I saw him, I was overwhelmed with nothing but pure sorrow! I realized that there was no way I could be mad at him forever because the experience taught me so much! We embraced in a hug that let us both know without ever saying the words that, "It was alright"! I pulled him to the side and said that I just wanted to make sure that everything was ok with us. He said it was and we went our separate ways. But this time, we left each other the way it's meant to be... in peace!

One thing's for sure.. life's experiences will mold you for what's to come. But, here's the tricky part. It doesn't always mold you for the better! Eventually it will mold you for the better but so often we get stuck in how it's molded us for the worse! Sometimes, we don't even realize that this is what's happening! This one hurt had me second-guessing myself, feeling insignificant, unworthy, and afraid! It wasn't until my friend pointed some things out to me that I realized that this one hurt... this one little hurt... had crippled me and prevented me from going further in my life! It reminds me of a lovely lady that shared with me her situation of 20 years. She is married to a controlling, verbally abusive man who spoke to her in a condescending manner and always made her feel as if she didn't matter. Whenever I asked her what she wanted to do, she would always say that she needed to find out what he wanted to do! She is a beautiful woman with two degrees and settled for a job making less than $30,000 because she learned through her experience to be afraid of confrontation! She's smart, multi-talented, and loves the arts but no longer does the things that she loves because her experiences have taught her that what she wants really doesn't matter! She's spent the best years of her life boxed in by a love that binds her rather than frees her!

The message is simple. I know that life will throw some crazy curve balls your way but you've got to learn how to let go and set standards that bring the type of love in your life that you deserve! I learned from my experience that I could do one of two things: I could either learn that I deserve better and set a standard for that or I could succumb to being treated unfairly for the rest of my life because I was crippled by one bad experience! Evaluate daily the people that are in your life and the one that you've chosen to be with. Make sure that you are being supported, loved unconditionally, and treated as if you are a King or Queen because that's what you deserve! And if you're not, find a way to change yourself not the other person! You have no control over other people! It's you that allowing it to happen! So, the change begins in you! And when you change, you demand change! Learn how to let go of those things that easily weigh you down or get you off track! There's a life to live and it begins when you recognize the treasure that lives inside of you!