Help Me to See "Me"

I was talking to a friend recently and we were chatting about the blessings of disagreements.  I know somebody just clocked out on me (smile).  But seriously, we were discovering that for most of our lives, we've approached the idea of arguments and disagreements the wrong way.  Several truths fall into play here.

First, there is the common assumption that everyone that comes into your life is there forever... NEGATIVE!  As many of us have gathered from on the job training, there are many people that come for a season.  The struggle comes when we try to force seasonal folks into permanent assignments.... IT JUST WON'T WORK!  These people have the grace to be in your life for a season only!  If you bypass the season, the person will have to be torn away and many times it's by disagreements or such.  Secondly, there is another common assumption that we are somehow entitled and must hold people hostage for what they did or didn't do to and/or for us.  Listen love, when someone's season is up... that's just it, it's up!  You can't force them to stay and charging them for walking away only holds you hostage and stuck in the place where they dropped you.  The reality is that if you keep walking just a tad bit farther, you'll realize that they weren't equipped to carry you the whole way but the next person is already waiting for you at the corner.

When we have struggles and growing pains (a more loving phrase) with others, many times we walk away and play the blame game for what the other person did wrong.  I believe this is where the blessings of disagreements come into play.  The reality is that what you do to me isn't greater than what is being done in me!  Therefore, if I take a closer look..... I can probably gather that there was a vulnerability in my life that allowed pain to come through.  So while I'm spending so much time attacking the other person, the real person to deal with is me!  Was there a sign or indication early on that destruction was on the way?  Was there a moment when you felt like your friendship or relationship had run its course but rather than hurt the other person's feelings, you just stuck it out to only find that a major argument would eventually separate you anyway?

My message is simple:  Perhaps some of those hard moments that you've had with others have come to reveal the greatest picture..... what's inside of you!  The next time these moments arise, approach it this way.... how does this cause me to react and why?  I am quite sure that if you do the work and follow the heart trail, you'll find a door of vulnerability that was left open somewhere along the way!  This is a true testament of becoming better when you can look at a situation and pray "Lord, help me to see me".